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Versus ¡Comunió!

21 abril 2019

Catòlics al servei d'una experiència de fe més eclesial, més plural, més laïcal i més ecumènica

¿Ruptura? Versus ¡Comunió!

¿RUPTURA? VERSUS ¡COMUNIÓ!

Diumenge XXVII de durant l’any, 7 d’octubre del 2018
Josep M. Balcells, escolapi

Estem vivint en un món d’arrel declaradament individualista, on hi regnen –però que molt!- l’emotivitat, en el sentit d’anar a embranzides o per fogots. Viure així és una invitació a ser esclau del moment que es viu, sobretot des de la forta subjectivitat. És el carpe diem en el sentit disruptiu o trencador d’un procés que tingui un fil conductor, que permeti enllaçar l’ahir amb el demà, formant una treballada continuïtat. Enclaustrament en el moment que es viu, deslligat, entre l’abans i el després. Això resulta molt nociu per recolzar i cimentar la pròpia vida en un estil de procés i de progrés, amb la intenció –i més, la voluntat– de teixir un clar i precís sentit en la determinació d’un estil propi de vida. La contenció, control i gestió de les emocions té un nom i és el del domini d’un mateix. Cal saber que és, ni més ni menys, que un fruit de L’Esperit Sant. L’absència del domini personal ho arruïna tot.

Em podríeu dir: Què té a veure això amb el tema que ens suggereixen les lectures litúrgiques d’avui? Efectivament, es tracta de parlar del matrimoni. En el sentit cristià de sagrament del matrimoni. Abans, però, de fer-ho, com sigui que l’Església ens invita a veure-ho i a viure-ho plenament des de la Comunió, ens concentrarem en la situació massa freqüent avui dia. Ja només a partir de la denominació que s’ha fet usual, on es parla de parella, que, estant a la literalitat de l’expressió, aquesta connota el fet de ser dos (parell, parella) sense que en el mot s’evidencïi el “compromís” que apunta a una promesa d’amor que es fan dues persones, que s’esmerçaran en anar descobrint el sentit comunional de l’expressió. En definitiva, en la “institució” parella hi ha d’haver el desig – i més, la voluntat activa!- d’unir dues vides que inicialment anaven cadascuna per camins diferents. Casar val tant com construir, edificar, portar a terme, intentar ajuntar dos propòsits de vida en comú… Ai, però, cal tenir present la desestabilització de la institució familiar,avui

Això és impossible de portar a la pràctica, és a dir, la complementació, sense un amor diligent a la percaça d’unitat, que englobi dues persones en tants aspectes -filigrana en podríem ben dir- que només l’estreta convivència dóna a conèixer i a poder valorar. Fer un procés –i millor, un progrés- per anar individuant i creant punts de trobada existencial que els portarà tots dos, pas a pas, a conformar (con-formar! =arrodonir, donar forma unitària) una Comunió creixent… No oblidant que és (hauria de ser) per sempre!

Certament, hi ajudarà tot el procés d’”en-amorament” que portarà a sintonies viscudes i volgudes. El dia a dia és determinant per a les coses per-durables. Però cal tenir present que l’enamorament a la llarga-curta –no gaire més d’uns mesos- és un miratge, en què l’un i l’altre es veuen distorsionadament com si fossin des de sempre i per sempre l’un per a l’altre i l’altre per a l’un. Somni deliciós però ineficaç.

Més observacions: tota parella ha de descobrir que l’inici de l’amor no és pas el gaudi de la seva plenitud, sinó un dolç i inconscient engany, propiciat, afavorit per les hormones. S’ha de passar d’aquest tendre autoengany a la densitat progressiva de l’àmbit de l’amor consistent, con-sistent! El treball de l’amor, avui, queda desvirtuat, emmascarat, posat en entredit per l’ambient social que, més que a unir, s’accepta el desaparellament, en el fragmentarisme social, usual. Avui és més difícil portar endavant la construcció –deixeu-me’n dir la creació!- d’una “parella”, perquè és de tota evidència la feblesa experimentada una i altra vegada en el viure en tants i tants aspectes socials i de convivència, que donen peu a trencaments quan sorgeixen les inevitables dificultats de la vida. Avui, s’ha de posar en relleu que efectivament són dos i ho seran sempre, i que serà difícil arribar a port, si no hi ha d’entrada un com-promís d’anar “casant” caràcters, històries distintes, famílies diferents, maneres de veure potser oposades, tics més o menys inconscients… Tot això s’haurà de posar en el joc dialèctic de la convivència tan i tan propera com suposa la vida de parella. Si no és creix personalment i com a parella, que són dos creixements diferents i complementaris, serà debades que un aconsegueixi portar l’obra de l’amor satisfactòriament endavant. Una obra d’art sens dubte! I ho dic admirativament!

L’amor és possible i en ell hi ha una promesa activa i satisfactòria de felicitat i de presumpció de plenitud que s’anirà notant, experimentant vegada a vegada; però que no serà definitiva sinó creixent en l’experiència singular feta a becades o a besades. Cal però advertir que el camí de l’amor no és fàcil.

La dificultat de la què hem de ser-ne conscienciosos és que el món que ens envolta i que ens penetra és molt “egoista” i a qui es deixi portar per l’egoisme li serà molt difícil viure a no ser que s’obri a l’altruisme que és, en definitiva, qui ens porta a la degustació del ben i bon conviure. Altruisme, especial de frec constant i “a casa pròpia”, que no resistirà, si no hi intervè l’amor, el petit-gran amor de cada dia…

Hi ha una altra dificultat sobreafegida: Els termes que tradicionalment s’utilitzaven en referència a matrimoni o parella són excessivament jurídics, allunyats de la moderna sensibilitat. Per exemple, es parla d’indissolubilitat, de contracte i aquest públic, de la sensació d’obligatorietat, com si allò que és un dels moments més personals estès sota una obligació heterònoma; també afegim-hi que es tracta d’un contracte, d’un dèbitum, d’un jou, de fidelitat “a tour d’horizon…”

No és una antigalla, no, l’amor, Cosa del món, d’ara fa més de seixanta anys i més… En aquests tants anys sabem per psicologia i per neurologia que s’han posat més de manifest les dificultats que no pas el camí, la pedagogia del creixement en l’amor, i menys del romàntic, ara ja no vigent, somni només… I tant desballestat com és el món avui de la parella, inestable i motiu d’experiències disruptives, servides pels mitjans, segur que han d’influir a l’hora d’emprendre el camí de roses… i d’espines de l’amor.

Convé reprendre –em dic– altra vegada el llibre “L’art d’estimar” de Fromm, publicat a la dècada dels cinquanta. Cal advertir que l’autor era un promotor d’una “Êtica humanista”, un altre llibre seu, aquest. El vam llegir i faríeu bé de llegir-lo els qui us voleu embarcar en aquesta “aventura de l’amor” o bé recomanar-lo als “nouvinguts”. Encara és ben vigent, oidà si ho és! En resum, començo per la primera frase que introdueix en el tema i podria servir per advertiment dels “facilons” que es pensen que el llibre ha perdut vigència i interès. “La lectura d’aquest llibre defraudarà aquells qui esperen una instrucció fàcil en l’art d’estimar. Aquest llibre pretén, al contrari, mostrar que l’amor no és un sentiment que pugui ésser posseït fàcilment per ningú, qualsevol que sigui el seu nivell de maduresa. Pretén convèncer el lector que tots els seus intents d’estimar estaran abocats al fracàs si no procura desenvolupar més activament la seva personalitat total, per aconseguir una orientació “productiva”; que la satisfacció en l’amor individual no pot ésser assolida sense la capacitat d’estimar el proïsme, sense una veritable humilitat, valor, fe i disciplina. En una cultura en què aquestes qualitats són rares, també ha d’ésser rara la capacitat d’estimar. Altrament, pregunteu-vos quantes persones heu conegut veritablement capaces d’estimar”. Bon començament; per tirar endarrere els no audaços o de tremp no consolidat!

Sóc ben conscient que no he dit encara ni una paraula sobre el matrimoni cristià. Cal saber que la concepció evangèlica sobre el matrimoni té la condició i la pregonesa d’un sagrament, que entre altres coses que evidentment es pressuposen, val a dir, tot el que he dit i més encara; en termes de mística evangèlica hi ha una vivència de comunió en creixement, impulsada per la gràcia de què és font el matrimoni en cada moment i instant i que, per Pau, és figura del misteri de la Comunió entre el Crist i l’Església, entesa com per a cada cristià. Però això ho deixarem per a un altre dia. Feina tindrem tots per donar un rostre evangèlic al nostre amor de cada dia.

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